Monday – An action packed, emotional day today. Today was the day we had all been looking forward to – meeting our children’s foster mothers again, after a few years. We duly arrived (by ourselves) at Eastern Social Welfare Society in Seoul (just one short subway stop from Sinchon) at 10.00am and presented ourselves to the post-adoption social worker – Mrs Cho. We have met Mrs Cho a couple of times, as she was actually Sam’s social worker when we collected him. She was pleased to see us again, and always remembers Sam – he stands out so well because of his unusual curly hair. It was great to see her again.
We were then ushered into a small room, and there was Lily’s foster mother waiting for us – Mrs Oh. We weren’t sure how Lily would react, but as predicted she buried herself in my arms, and clung on for dear life. It was all a bit overwhelming for her. But as we had hoped, when she presented Mrs Oh with a photo book that I had made for her of Lily (or Ye-Jin as Mrs Oh knew her as), as a baby in Korea with her, up to present day, Lily warmed up and showed her the book, gradually gaining confidence. She has been very excited to meet Mrs Oh again, and bit by bit she started to relax, and by the end of the visit was drawing pictures for her, and everyone else in the room.
We were then ushered into a small room, and there was Lily’s foster mother waiting for us – Mrs Oh. We weren’t sure how Lily would react, but as predicted she buried herself in my arms, and clung on for dear life. It was all a bit overwhelming for her. But as we had hoped, when she presented Mrs Oh with a photo book that I had made for her of Lily (or Ye-Jin as Mrs Oh knew her as), as a baby in Korea with her, up to present day, Lily warmed up and showed her the book, gradually gaining confidence. She has been very excited to meet Mrs Oh again, and bit by bit she started to relax, and by the end of the visit was drawing pictures for her, and everyone else in the room.
Mrs Oh was just so generous with gifts for both Sam and Lily that we were astounded. She presented them both with a beautiful handbok (traditional Korean costume that Korean’s wear on special days of the year), each – Lily’s complete with a separate petticoat, matching hat and purse and also gave them several coloring books, pencils, crayons, scrapbooks, teaching hangul books, and other things. Then as we were leaving she presented Brendan and I with an exquisitely made rice cake (complete with party poppers and candles) – a special celebration cake. We were quite overwhelmed by her generosity.
A few minutes after we started talking with Mrs Oh (who is currently fostering another two babies simultaneously!), Sam’s foster mother Mrs Choi came in to the room. Last time we saw her was three years ago when we picked up Lily, and she was quite reserved, but this time, she was very emotional and pulled Sam onto her knee and kept kissing him, and stroking his hair, and saying what a handsome boy he was. It was just heart warming, and Sam responded beautifully, sitting on her knee the whole time, and hugging her. She told us how she had often thought about him, and had missed him all the time he had been away from her. She told us many beautiful things about how she felt about him, and us, and that he was healthy and happy. We were very moved by how much it meant to her, to see him again. Mrs Choi is now 71, and has just given up fostering after 27 years.
We cannot describe what it meant to us to see these amazing women again. To see again the sacrifices they make to give our children the best possible start in life is just wonderful. Sam’s foster mum had been fostering these babies for 27 years straight, from 2 weeks of age, until they were collected by either American or Australian families at the age of either 5 months, or in later years 9 months. Sadly now, the wait has gone up to around 15 months (all due to Korean govt. red tape and their push to decrease overseas adoption and increase local/domestic adoption).
So after that emotional reunion (of about an hour), we joined the rest of our Victorian Group, and were excited to see Linda, Stephen & Eliel also with them (they had just met Eva for the first time a few minutes prior). Imagine meeting your 14 month old daughter to be, and how upsetting and emotional it would be for the bub (it was hard enough for Sam at 5 months, and Lily at 9 months).
We then all listened to Mrs Kim (Old Dr Kim’s daughter), the current president of ESWS, give a welcoming speech to us all, and a talk about how Korea has gone from being very poor after the Korean War, to a wealthy economy in a few short years. She explained about all the services ESWS provide, such as unwed mother’s homes, support services for aged care, and rehabilitation facilities for handicapped adults and children.
We were surprised when we walked into Eastern this time to find an upmarket coffee shop on the first floor called “Cafe Eastern”. Mrs Kim explained that thanks to Starbucks sponsorship, the unwed mothers that do decide to keep their bubs (a very difficult thing to do in Korea due to both financial and cultural stigma), are given training as baristas, and retail work, so they can support themselves and their child. A wonderful idea.
After our speech (and trying to keep all our children quiet), we were given a tour of ESWS, we visited the offices, the medical centre, and what all the mums were hanging out for – the baby nursery. This is where the bubs are taken for a few weeks after birth, before they go out to foster care.
To see all our children line up at the nursery window, and peer in at the cots that they would have once been in themselves, was a moving and quite lovely sight. Lily asked me which cot she would have slept in? Both Sam and Lily wanted to bring another baby home (if only we could!). As usual there was lots of lovely babies, just waiting for families to love them.
Yes, dear readers, I did have a few silent tears today as I met the foster mothers, saw how much our visit meant to them, and how much our children have been loved, right from the day they were placed in the care of Eastern, then with their foster families, and then finally with us. I cannot explain how much it moved me to watch our precious children laughing and smiling at the bubs in the nursery, and seeing an adult Korean adoptee return to ESWS to help out in the babies nursery.
Yes Christos, love was in the air today!
After our tour, we were all welcomed up to the fifth floor for lunch with Mrs Kim in the workers cafeteria. A lovely lunch of all sorts of both Korean and western food was on offer (buffet style), and we all enjoyed catching up again, and comparing foster mother visit stories.
Sam’s best bit of the day, was sitting behind Bill on the Flume boat ride, ducking behind him so he wouldn’t get wet, laughing all the way. Sorry Bill for making you sit in the front of the boat!
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ReplyDeleteMichelle, am I seeing correctly in the first photo of the baby nursery, is that a baby helping themselves to a nappy???
ReplyDeleteI am glad to see that mothers that have decided to keep their babies are given wonderful support and training. It makes our journey a little easier. Thanks for sharing your photos of Eastern. They did bring a tear to my eyes.